Gym Humour Archives - Gymtalk

gym humour

Gym Humour

The world’s worst fitstagram accounts
Thanks to its vainly visual nature, Instagram provides the perfect habitat for thousands of self-obsessed buff bods. Like a digital alternative to posing in Amsterdam shop windows, these preened and polished plebs love nothing more than taking to th [...]
the worst fitness youtubers part 2

Gym Humour

The worst fitness channels on YouTube: part 2
You know that kid at school who wore a cape, dressed his rabbit as Hitler and once, as a dare, took a shit in his own backpack? Well that’s basically YouTube. These annoying tossers on a global scale, chasing their moment in the spotlight, b [...]

Gym Humour

The 5 Worst Fitness Channels On YouTube
Approximately 400 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute. As anyone who’s clicked “filter by recent results” will testify, the vast majority of this content is proof, if it were needed, that humankind is hurtling towards its in [...]

Gym Humour

Common Gym Phrases And What They Actually Mean
The gym can be an intimidating place. Well, sort of. Not as intimidating as being chained up in a Belgium sex bunker, being asked to call a coin toss by Anton Chigurh or having your CV marked up by Claude Littner. Or being forced to sleep opposi [...]

Gym Humour

Historical Figures We’d Like As Gym Buddies
A good gym buddy can be worth their weight in gold. Someone to shout words of encouragement as you struggle on that final rep, someone to blame when you accidentally let one off by the water fountain, someone to hold deep and meaningfuls with betwee [...]

Gym Humour

Muscle & Fitness Through The Ages
Since the dawn of time man has aspired to physical perfection. Like artists, writers and pets that can play musical instruments, those in peak physical shape are lauded by society. From that dim-witted, strapping neanderthal who could punch a [...]

Gym Humour

Quiz: What Kind Of Lifter Are You?
Have you ever felt the need to take a completely pointless and utterly ridiculous quiz to ascertain what kind of lifter you are? Well, today is your lucky day. Come with us, reader, as we take a glimpse into the lives of four lifters, all bas [...]

Gym Humour

The GymTalk Guide To The 2016 Rio Olympics
Finally summer can begin. With Euro 2016 finished, Europe's richest racists and rapists can fuck off back to their gated mansions decked out in "tasteless twat" by Rocha John Rocha. Yes, now the actual greatest sporting event on earth can begin - t [...]

Gym Humour

What Not To Wear In The Gym
The gym is a microcosm of society in that most people either (a) don't have a clue what they're doing or (b) are so egregiously annoying that you wouldn't think twice about clubbing them to death with a cricket bat and feeding their remains into a sa [...]

Gym Humour

The Best And Worst Sports For Physique Development
Let’s be honest, no matter what we tell ourselves or others, it’s all lies... “I’m doing this to keep fit.” “This’ll keep my cholesterol down.” “This gym has unisex changing rooms.” While we might all have great intent [...]

Gym Humour

The Worst Of The Fitness Industry
Like it or not, fitness is now mainstream. When I started lifting weights 10 years ago, if you drunk from a protein shake in public someone would probably spit on your back and call you a c**t. Fast forward to today, and fame hungry slappers from [...]

Gym Humour

The Biggest Bastards Of The 2015 Rugby World Cup
At Gymtalk Towers we really enjoyed the 2015 Rugby World Cup. From mirin' the hamstrings, to applauding the big hits, to witnessing the courageous efforts of the smaller nations, it was a great tournament. Now, at this juncture, I was rather h [...]

Gym Humour

Political Figures In The Gym
Never has the world been more politically charged; mass migration, nuclear armament and Donald Trump. But how do these political collosi shape up in the gym? Who's the strongest? Who's got the most progressive training methods? And who's [...]

Gym Humour

The Gymtalk Guide To Picking Up Women
If you've clicked on a link to read this blog post, it's likely one of two things has just happened. If you're a single male, then you've probably just finished an insentient session on Red Tube, and as the post-fap tristesse kicks in, fueled in n [...]

Gym Humour

The Gymtalk Guide To Music Festivals
Festivals are now a staple of British summertime, up there with disposable barbecues, arguments about office air conditioning and wanting to chin every single Australian cricketer (or, at the very least, wishing that their dressing room celebrations [...]

Gym Humour

Historical Figures Who Didn’t Need To Lift
With the world currently being played out exclusively on social media, it's now impossible to prove yourself as a man without twenty inch biceps, a garish vest and paleo meals that look as unappetising as an invite to Michael Barrymore's next pool pa [...]

Gym Humour

Mass Around The World
Pepsi, McDonalds, Viagra. Established brands that can be found almost anywhere in the world, strong global companies. But is there still room for small, lesser-spotted companies to exploit the global market? Will Gymtalk ever be mentioned in [...]

Gym Humour

The Top 6 Fitness Personalities On Instagram
In the first half of the twentieth century, your worth as a human being was judged by a stoic readiness to lay down your life for Queen and country. Nowadays, it is determined by how many people like a filtered photo of your dog/lunch/tits on soc [...]

Gym Humour

The Gymtalk Guide To Christmas: How To Maintain Muscle Over The Festive Period
Let's be honest, amidst the killing fields of Tesco Oldham on Black Friday, repetitive music sung by future Yewtree candidates, and forced family events, Christmas can be a bit... shit. Combine that with the fact that most gyms will have reduced [...]

Gym Humour

Welcome To The Gyms Of My Life
Much like "the times" in a Bob Dylan song, Neo's answer phone message, or Michael Jackson's skin colour, changing gyms is a natural part of our lifting lives. Things change - finances, working patterns, geo-displacement (I've made that word up). [...]

Gym Humour

Top 5 Pointless Bodybuilding Exercises For Beginners
There are many reasons why people will make the salient decision to start lifting weights. Maybe you still have to shop at Gap Kids? Maybe you're struggling to carry a full basket of shopping around Sainsbury's? Or maybe Pablo the ripped lif [...]

Gym Humour

Top 5 Personal Trainers
At Gymtalk we're privileged to work with some of the UK, USA and UAE's (seriously) finest personal trainers. And while it seems that we may fastidiously favour people from countries that can be acronymised and begin with U, we will only work with [...]

Gym Humour

The Best Bodybuilding Films On Netflix
Today it seems like every man and his dog has got a Netflix account. Or at least a month's free trial that you've managed to drag out for over a year by continually switching email addresses. The only problem is that usually you have to wade th [...]

Gym Humour

Fictional Characters We’d Love As Gym Buddies
Everyone needs a gym buddy. But sometimes they don’t quite shape up to your expectations, and this got us thinking over at Gymtalk Towers, "Wouldn’t it be great if we could drag along one of our favourite fictional characters to spot us?" [...]

Gym Humour

How To Lift Like A Bro – The Gymtalk Guide To Gym Etiquette
Every gym has a set of ubiquitous rules which have been passed down from generation to generation, not through words, but through looks of approval or disapproval. It used to be that the only way to find out these rules would be to break one and b [...]

Gym Humour

5 Alternative Reasons To Take Up Bodybuilding
Not all of us gym goers want to look like Ronnie Coleman. OK, perhaps we do, but we simply cant deadlift 800lbs. Some of us just want to go to the gym to get big. There's no goal, no calorie counting, and no oiling up (not for competitions a [...]

Gym Humour

The Top 10 Gym Personalities
We have compiled, for your entertainment, a list of the top 10 gym personalities. It's basically a who's who of idiosyncratic characters/annoying wankers in the free weights area. You might find a few of these people familiar... 1) Big Irania [...]

Gym Humour

‘Which Bodybuilder Am I?’ Quiz
Bit of a throwback to the 90s with this article. This is probably the kind of thing you would've done to determine 'Which Member of S Club 7 Am I?' (Jo strangely enough - then again she was the most butch.) So I've decided to make one based [...]