Posted on 14 Oct 2015
4 min read
Having spent the summer in the south of France eating baguettes, drinking wine, taking a two hour lunch, not cancelling my signal after changing lanes, working 37.5 hours a week, not wearing a veil, driving a shit French car, striking regularly, drinking UHT milk, wearing tight trousers, not wearing deodorant, drawing satirical/racially insensitive cartoons, producing terrible music, smoking gitanes, playing handball, quaffing champagne, dismissing all other cuisines, pissing in the street, swearing on the radio and generally shrugging apathetically in response to any question directed my way…
…I was left feeling somewhat bloated and stodgy.
Don’t get me wrong, I love pastry, bread, red meat, red wine and fried potatoes two to three times a day but it’s certainly not a recipe for rippling abs or a perfect v-shaped back (neither of which I have).
However, back in the UK I wanted to get some semblance of clean eating, so after ordering MuscleFood’s standard poultry, red meat, exotic meats and protein snacks, I thought I’d check out the ‘new products’ section and buy a few samples to see what’s what.
Link: http://www.musclefood.com/chocolate-crunchy-protein-balls-10.html
Cost: £13 for 10 balls
Serving size: 46g
Nutritionals (per serving):
| Calories | 224.9kcal |
| Protein | 15g |
| Carbs (of which sugar) | 4.78g (2.6g) |
| Fat (of which saturates) | 13.7g (8.2g) |
The best way to describe these would be slightly stale Maltesers.
High Protein Chocolate Balls are derived from soy isolate with real tempered chocolate, although you could’ve fooled me.
They were slightly odd taste and texture-wise, not unpleasant but there are certainly far better protein snacks out there.
You feel that maybe we should’ve just stopped at the protein bar, flapjack and brownie.
All of which MuscleFood do very well.
Each 46g bag will cost you £1.49 and delivers 15g of protein, 225 calories and only 2.6g of sugar.
There are worryingly 13.7g of fat – 8.2g of which is saturated fat – which is not dissimilar from many standard chocolate snacks.
Without the gains of course
Overall, I think unless you’re a fiend for a Malteaser then you can probably give this product a miss.
Not for the lean hearted.
Rating: 3/5
Link: http://www.musclefood.com/high-protein-white-chocolate-raspberry-10.html
Cost: £12 for 10 wafers
Serving size: 41g
Nutritionals (per serving):
| Calories | 197.2kcal |
| Protein | 15g |
| Carbs (of which sugar) | 12.92g (5.9g) |
| Fat (of which saturates) | 9.4g (5.9g) |
Now, who the honest fuck decided this product needed to be made?
Did MuscleFood really have enough correspondence that justified the outlay on R&D to satisfy the mass clamouring for a fucking protein wafer?
Wafer isn’t even a legitimate food type, it’s a fucking accompaniment to a child’s ice cream at best.
Unbelievable.
As you may sense, I did not enjoy this product and thoroughly regret ordering it.
It tasted odd, I doubt the nutritional benefits are of much significance and I spent my mastication time wondering what sort of cunt would actually order and appreciate this concoction.
The protein race has perhaps gone a bit too far.
£1.50, 15g of protein, 0g of respect.
Rating: 1/5
Link: http://www.musclefood.com/prutella-chocolate-hazelnut-spread.html
Cost: £4.95 for a 240g tub
Serving size: 15g
Nutritionals (per serving):
| Calories | 39kcal |
| Protein | 2.7g |
| Carbs (of which sugar) | 3.99g (0.6g) |
| Fat (of which saturates) | 1g (0.17g) |
Now we’re talking.
Forget the terrible pun attempt, we can look past that.
Nutella is one of the most unchallenged products in the world and while MuscleFood Prutella is certainly not going to worry the guys at Nutella, it’s a decent chocolately protein spread.
A 240g jar containing 16 servings costs £4.95 and definitely delivers.
Lovely stuff.
It tastes OK, obviously not as delicious as Nutella and its slightly grainy in texture, but if you mix it with some peanut butter and spread it onto some protein bread or a wholegrain muffin then you’ve got yourself one hell of a snack.
A great product.
Rating: 4/5
Like most of the supplement world at the moment, MuscleFood is trying to stretch the boundaries of what products can be morphed into gains.
What will I be sampling next time:
Protein carrots?
Protein salt?
Protein chairs?
Who the hell knows.
I’d honestly prefer it if we just stuck to the basics, which for MuscleFood is amazing value and great quality hunks of meat.
Yes sometimes you get a gem like Prutella, but it seems you need nine misses for every hit.
Is it really worth it?
No it isn’t.
All items in this review can be purchased from the MuscleFood website.
The minimum order value is £24.99 plus delivery for orders containing chilled items or £10 plus delivery for orders with just ambient items.
You can also save some extra cash on your order by using one of our exclusive Musclefood discount codes.
Have you tried any of these protein snacks?
Thinking of putting in an order?
Has the ‘protein race’ gone too far?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!
Having spent every waking hour of his childhood swimming, Greg now works, lifts, eats chicken and travels. He is our (un)masked Zorro of bodybuilding academia.
Protein Porn?
Protein Oxygen?
Protein Condoms?
Give her some added gains with your meat.